So, if we think about it, the reason a lot of us initially don’t know what the hell is going on in this particular area of our life is because of two reasons:
a) no one has taught us
but also
b) we haven’t bothered to learn - from others, from our past experiences and from ourselves - ouch
We strategise and agonise over booking holidays, applying for jobs and mortgages, which top to wear in the morning, even which super health food salad to spend too much money on but we still go with the flow when it comes to dating.
As humans, we like predictability. All the decisions we actually take our sweet time making usually have a known outcome, we’re just deciding on which known outcome to experience.
With dating, we’ve been told ‘anything can happen...’. And in theory, it can! But YOU - the person you’ve known the longest in your whole life and whose actions you can predict with almost 100% certainty - are in control of YOU and you (all the same person here) can actually impact your dating life in bigger and more consistent ways than you currently know how :)
We’re not saying dating can be completely taught. We’re actually big believers in chemistry and intuition here at AFD! However, there are some basic rules to the science, and here they are:
Ya know how it goes. You decide you want a perfectly rounded circle to fill your hole with (yes, pun) and then a square comes along and after 1 date you are trying to shove that square all up in there! Even deadlifting at the gym to get that extra muscle to help push your agenda. Nope. No bueno.
This is actually a quote from Colin Powell - random here but also very fitting (unlike that poor square we were trying to squish earlier)!
This rule is basically saying, get to know someone first! You owe it to them (and yourself).